How to buy a House Post Divorce - First hand Experience & How you can be a Power House too

The Empowered Fresh Start: A Guide to Buying a House Solo Post-Divorce 🏡

There truly is no way to sugarcoat it: divorce sucks. It stinks to have to sell a house you pictured yourself living in for the rest of your life. It stinks that so many things have to change, and that is on top of the mixed-up feelings of not being with that partner for the rest of your life brings. This blog post is going to be a bit different, because I am going to let you in on some details of my personal life that I often don’t talk about.

Why? Because I have been there. I had my entire world crumble around me as I discovered that my then-husband was not who he said he was, and my life completely changed. I changed, and no matter how much I protected them, my children changed. It was a sad, hard, and sometimes very scary season in our lives.

Now looking back, I am so incredibly grateful for that pain. I love our life now. I love our house - a house I bought on my own post-divorce. So this article is half advice with some tips, and half my heart exposed….here we go.

Part I: The Emotional Reckoning (My Heart Exposed) 💔

When the dust finally settled, I felt lost. It was like I could see the pieces of the life I had built with him all around me, and I couldn't pick them up. All of those pieces, including the house—the one we bought together, the one filled with memories that were now half-painful, half-ghostly—had to go, and it made me mad. The hardest part wasn't the box-packing; it was the anger and fear that came with starting over this time as a single mom of 2 small kids. Everything was changing for them, and I wanted to keep one thing consistent - their home, but my ex didn’t agree, so we had to sell. The kids and I needed to move. I love my mom, but I didn’t want to move in with her, and I was mad that I needed to rent instead of owning a home to grow my wealth. I felt like a failure. Have you been there? 

Once I let go and realized that I was excited to start over in a new place with a new energy, I became excited and my priorities in a house changed.

One of my biggest learned life lessons from this time period: As soon as I accept the hard truth, I am able to look at it totally differently and move on in a much stronger, healthier, and positive way.

"Your next home is a foundation for your new, stronger life"

It does not need to be a monument to what you lost, nor does it need to be so drastically different. Forgive yourself for the past, take a deep breath, and let’s look forward. You are stronger now than you’ve ever been. Your next home isn’t about owning v. renting, nor is it about big v small, it’s about you and your kids FEELING safe and happy. 

I didn’t even choose my next home. I had COVID at the time, and needed something quickly. One friend called me, and told me about the house next to hers that just went on the market for rent. I called another friend and together they toured the home. They said it would be great for us. It was also close to our village of support. So, I signed that lease and started packing. When I walked into that home for the first time, I knew it would be where we were going to heal and grow solid together. 

Part II: Financial Rebuilding & The Power Shift 🛠️

Once I accepted that my path was entirely my own, the fear started to turn into focus. The buying process, which seemed impossible on a single income, became my biggest tool for taking back control. This is the "Power House" part of the journey.

1. Face Your New Financial Reality—No Sugarcoating:

Your credit, debt-to-income (DTI) ratio, and income sources have changed drastically. This is non-negotiable homework. Get a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP) involved early. They are specifically trained to understand how alimony or child support counts as income (or how your obligations count as debt). Don't let shame stop you from making this first, powerful phone call.

2. Establish New Financial Boundaries:

In a partnership, you often absorb the other person’s financial risks. Now, the boundaries are all yours. Look at your new, solo budget and determine what you can comfortably afford. This new budget isn't a limitation—it's freedom from co-dependency and future financial stress.

It might be necessary to take some steps back as well. For me, we stopped several extracurricular activities and limited spending in several ways. Our tight budget also served us in giving us the time together at home to heal and grow forward from our pains. We looked inward and did things together at home rather than out.

3. The Final Decree is Your Golden Ticket:

Lenders will need the final divorce decree. This document formally outlines your debts and assets. Without it, you are stalled. If your decree requires your ex-spouse to refinance the old mortgage, make sure that is done and documented. You can’t start your new chapter if you’re still legally tied to the old one.

4. Don't allow yourself to be stuck in the Rental Trap for too long - get help & make your exit plan early!

Not only did I get divorced, but I also changed career paths drastically, all within 1 year. I think that escaping one toxic relationship allowed me to see the toxicity in my career, which pushed me forward in leaping into a whole new self-employed career. When I made this leap, I knew 2 things: (1) I needed to financially secure the kids and myself without relying on the help of my ex-husband, (2) I needed to not be drained, exhausted, and so constantly stressed that I wasn’t enjoying the time I had with the kids. 

At one point, I was working 3 jobs and still felt better than in my first career. For me, financially securing the kids and me meant purchasing a home rather than renting. I wanted the kids to have the stability and also the ability to paint their rooms the color of their choice and express themselves fully, rather than what is allowed in a rental home. 

I started talking with a lender EARLY - like a year and a half early to plan out exactly what I needed to do to purchase a home. After that, it was all about taking the steps in the plan. 

2 1/2 years after my divorce, I purchased my own home on my own. 

Part III: Defining Your "Solo Home" Needs 🗺️

Forget the "we" dreams and start thinking about the "I" and "us" (you and your children). Your house hunt now is about stability, not compromise.

For me, my priority was a pool and a home office or a 4th bedroom that could be a home office. I work mostly from home, and my kids love to swim. Plus, we live in Texas, where having a pool to jump into in the backyard is an awesome treat after a long day of showing houses. I also needed to find a home that was within my budget, and I knew would grow in equity to secure us more financially.

The New Neighborhood Vibe

Think deeply about your support system. When I moved, I made sure my new home was close to my friends, some of the kids' friends, and my mom. As a solo parent, community isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Prioritize locations with a strong HOA, active neighborhood events, and easy access to new friends. Look for a location that supports the new you.

A Final Thought: Your New Home, Your Rules ✨

Buying a home solo after divorce is an incredible, terrifying, and deeply empowering milestone. I'll never forget the conversation I had with my landlord the day I moved out of the rental house and into the home I had purchased. He looked at me and said, "We were talking last night, and we just want you to know how proud of you we are. When we first met you, you were broken. Talk about Rising like a Phoenix. You truly are a Phoenix who has risen out of the flames, and we just think it is so cool what you have done." I get emotional thinking about it.  

When my kids and I moved into that rental home, we were broken. That home served us so well in our healing journey, and it was time to move on. Looking back on all the hard stuff, I am so very grateful for every bit of it. If that hard stuff had not happened, I wouldn't be where I am today. More importantly, I wouldn't be WHO I am today.

"I didn't rise from those flames the same version of myself as before, I rose better."

That first night I slept in my new house—the one I chose, I paid for, and I decorated was a sense of accomplishment and peace - excitement and also calm all wrapped into one.

You have survived one of life’s most difficult seasons. You are ready to build a life that is truly, authentically yours. As your Power House Realtor, I don’t just handle the paperwork; I am here to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you, ensuring every step you take is an empowered decision.

It’s time to stop surviving and start building your future.

Ready for Your Empowered Fresh Start?

Don't go through this monumental journey alone. Let's create a personalized plan to find the home that celebrates your new beginning.

Call or text me today to start building your solo home strategy: 832-341-1289

I want to take this opportunity to give a special thanks to our village. When I say village, I really mean a village - a village that starts with my mom and includes friends, moms, real estate besties, kids' friends - you are our people and we are so very lucky. You protected me and the kids. You listened to me and offered support. Your simple presence has given us peace and space to thrive. Some of you have become clients as well, and that is just icing on the cake. We love you and we are so grateful for you.